is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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