i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
