I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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