So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
