I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The uberlube is also flammable
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
