in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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