Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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