Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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