There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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