the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
