can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
