when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
