Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
