She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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