people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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