who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
