that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
