Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
