I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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