He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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