if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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