ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
