Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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