How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
