i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
