Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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