you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
