I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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