this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
