My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
