why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
