How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
