Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
