If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
