I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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