I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
