i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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