Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
