just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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