1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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