is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
