Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
