There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
