So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
