evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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