They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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