Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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