Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
