Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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