God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I touched a dick in church today
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
