OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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